SNAPPED…

I am not a keen television watcher but I am unable to resist the programme called “Snapped”on the Crime and Investigation Network. It is a programme about women who kill. The sultry voice of the announcer would usually ask,“How do life-givers (women) suddenly become life-takers?”I havealso found that question intriguing too. Icouldn’t stop wondering how tender, mild and demure women metarmophosized into angry, treacherous and determined killers; whose victims needless to say were usually their ‘significant others.’ For a long time, I assumed that it was a foreign phenomenon unlikely to occur with my kith and kin.But as I looked into Chinyelu’s deadpan eyes that morning, I knew that anyone, anywhere can snap.
“There is no way I am going to let this go. I hate my husband Ben. He sickens me to say the very least. I can’t even put my finger on how I feel; it’s a combination of anger and disgust. He is despicable,”Chinyelu emphasizes. I watch carefully as she talks about Ben and I feel achill down my spine.I know she is livid. Her eyes are not even meeting mine.
I begin to press as subtly as I can because I need to understand the source of Chinyelu’s intense anger.“How long haveyou felt like this?” I ask. She looks at me briefly and then looks away, unable to speak. Eventually I convince her to say something, anything. She says,“Mrs Ndu, Ben is a beast. He is a monster, a maniac…” She continues pouring vituperations on her husband as I quietly listen. After she has poured her heart out, she concludes by saying “By the time I am done with him…” then she stops abruptly as though she cannot afford to betray her plans. I know that I must get her to talk.
“I cannever forgive Ben, she starts.” “It is unbelievable that a human being can act like this. This level of betrayal is unbearable. I lost my job with the recent down-sizing in my Bank and I was paid a lump sum after all the necessary deductions had been made.Because I have always worked in the Banking Sectorand Ben has been a successful business man,I felt he had more experience in business. I gave him all the money I was paid by my Bank and I asked him to invest it in his business while I thought about what to do next. We agreed it was a good idea and we went as far as discussing what my returns would be. I kept a close tab on him and I tried to find out what was going on with the business from time to time. He assured me everything was fine. I had no reason to doubt him. One day, he told me how some deal had gone awry and how much money he had lost. I was traumatized but I got over it because I know that there are always ups and downs in business. I could handle that. But I later got to find out that he was dating a girl in his office and he had used my money to pay for her to go and study for her MBA in Aberdeen, Scotland. I freaked out. My money!! The only money I had on earth, Ben had given to his girlfriend. As if that wasn’t enough, he had introduced this girl to me as hislate Aunty Ijeoma’s step-daughter-some distant relative. I believed him and that’s why I let my guards down, otherwiseI’d never allow him work so closely with the girl. Women are his paramount weakness.The greatest joke is that he means to re-locate to Canada with this girlfriend of his. My source tells me that the girl wants to get the MBA in order to qualify for the Canadian Highly Skilled Immigrants visa. This is not the first time he is cheatingon me; deceiving and humiliating me. The dreadful thing is that it is always with close-range girls. The last one was with my neighbour’s daughter. I thought I had dealt with that pain but this has brought everything up to the surface again. I am ready to explode, Ma. He can’t get away with this. I won’t let him,” she says in a very loud whisper that sounds almost like a hiss.
Chinyelu’s rage is of cataclysmic proportions and it reminds me of the last episode of “Snapped” that I watched. I am deeply grateful for this opportunity to meet with her and I am desperately hoping that she doesn’t leave my office the way she is sounding. I must find a way to deflate her pent-up emotions so that she doesn’t cause any long term harm to either herself or her husband.When I agree with her that Ben’s behaviour is totally despicable, I can see that I am gaining her attention. I can tell that Chinyelu hasa lot of bottled up feelings from the past. She is filled with deep-seated resentment of Ben.
“Chinyelu,” I begin, “You are really very angry and I worry about what may happen if you l don’t get a grip on yourself. You are filled with such rage, resentment and unforgiveness. These are very damaging emotions because they can cause a steady flow of adrenaline and cortisol into your blood-stream; very self- destructing. Even if you do harm Ben or perhaps kill him and his girlfriend, you will still not get your money back. In fact crime and guilt will be your next level and I am sure you don’t want to add these to your catalogue of pain. That is a heavy load to carry. No one is worth it. For your own sake, let this go! This is not about Ben or his girlfriend, it is about you Chinyelu, let it go! ”I emphaticallyinsist.
I know I got Chinyelu’s attention because of the seemingly selfish point of view I have presented her with. She can see that she must look out for herself; she knows she cannot afford toallow her bubble burst. She must not snap. Ben can’t be worth it- what do you think?