Stress Related Un-forgiveness

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Stress Related Un-forgiveness

Stress related Un-forgiveness

As discussed in our previous months’ newsletters, stress poses a lot of health risks. Chronic stress has severe consequences because it can adversely affect an individual’s physical and mental wellbeing.

A stressor that is most often overlooked is ‘Un’-forgiveness… the harbouring of offenses. It can also be described as ‘holding a grudge.’ A grudge is usually generated when one perceives an event or circumstance as unjust or hurtful.

‘Un’-forgiveness is a type of stress response that is the direct consequence of harbouring offences and holding grudges. It has a direct impact on the mental health and psychology of a person. Delayed and unaddressed ‘Un’-forgiveness can cause many long-term mental health problems. Depression is the most frequently encountered resultant mental health issue.

The key de-stressor of ‘Un’-forgiveness  is forgiveness. Forgiveness is choosing to no longer hold to the feeling of un-forgiveness towards the person, people or events that have hurt you. Forgiveness is choosing to embrace peace of mind rather than the pain that another person is inflicting or has inflicted on you; it is letting go and relieving oneself of the unpleasant sore feeling; it is deciding to take a deep breath and let go of all negative energy.
Forgiveness is never deserved as nobody ever truly “deserves” to be forgiven. But for the sake of a restful mind and the avoidance of drained energy, it is the best choice for both mental and physical health.

Forgiveness can be achieved by:
1. Getting the right perspective of what is happening. Recognizing that your distress is coming from your thoughts, your hurt feelings and the physical upset you are currently suffering. The distress is not from the Offender.

2.  Acknowledging that you have struggles forgiving and choosing to take practical steps to release the person in your mind.

3. Consciously letting go of the pain by realising that you are doing good to yourself by letting go

5. Meditating on positive, wholesome and other pleasant things

6. Starting to speak forgiveness whenever you hear, speak or think of the person- always consciously saying that you have forgiven that person.

Remember that the bitterness and resentment you feel is based on your analysis and perception of the circumstances. Endeavour to get a different perspective of what has happened and recognize that your primary distress is coming from your thoughts and your emotions not from who has offended you.  Forgiveness can be difficult and tough but it is needful.

The body keeps the score!

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