THE 12 MYTHS

1. THE MYTH: Love demands that I give up my interests, my desires and my values and adopt my partner’s own.
THE BUSTER: If you lose your identity your partner will lose interest in you

2. THE MYTH: I shouldn’t have to tell my partner what I want; if they love me, they would know
THE BUSTER: You are likely to be disappointed if you don’t say how you feel and what you want.

3. THE MYTH:I hold my anger in so I don’t hurt my partner
THE BUSTER: Holding anger in instead of expressing it carefully causes you to explode or build resentments which ultimately destroys the relationship

4. THE MYTH: I talk about my partner to others because I am not sure my partner can handle the way I feel and I need to tell someone
MY BUSTER: Telling others causes you to judge your partner without giving them the chance to understand your feeling and change their behaviour

5. THE MYTH: If only my partner would change, I’d be happy
BUSTER: Only you can make yourself happy. If you change your behaviour, your Partner has no other choice but to change

6. THE MYTH: Pointing out my Partners problems to them will help them become better people
BUSTER : Criticism damages self- esteem and can make your partner resent you

7. THE MYTH: My partner needs my help because they can’t do it on their own ultimately they will begin to appreciate my helping them
BUSTER: Your constant ‘help’ tells your partner that you don’t believe they can do things on their own. This is a judgement they will come to either resent or believe in.

8. THE MYTH: It is better to keep your distance than to fight
THE BUSTER: Distance creates walls and problems. When unresolved, it poisons your relationship.

9. THE MYTH : Punishment makes people change
THE BUSTER: Punishment hardly changes an adult, instead it builds resentment. Communication works more effectively

10. THE MYTH: Some people are just bad.
THE BUSTER: Very few people are bad. People only exhibit bad behaviour and most bad behaviour can be changed

11. THE MYTH: Sex and romance eventually wane no matter how much you love someone
THE BUSTER: Sex and romance don’t die naturally, they are usually killed by neglect

12. THE MYTH: Life should be fair and easy
THE BUSTER: Life isn’t always fair or easy but through the storm there can always be calm.

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