It is just the middle of the first month in the New Year and already many (if not all) New Year resolutions would have been broken. A recent study showed that 88% of those who set New Year resolutions fail. Some of the people admitted they had set unrealistic goals; others did not keep track of their progress while others simply forgot about them.
The aim of New Year resolution is to annually reflect on one’s self –improvement. Some very popular New Year resolutions include to be more spiritual and prayerful, to improve physical well-being by eating healthy, losing weight, exercising more, to spend quality time with close family and friends and perhaps to spend less time on social media.
A New Year resolution which very few people in these parts consider, is talking to a skilled Listener. Most people wonder why they should pay to talk to someone when they have family and friends they can talk to. A lot of people are intimidated by the stigma attached to seeking professional help; others consider it an extreme act of weakness while others assume that if they can ignore the problem long enough it will simply disappear.
Though our family and friends are an important part of our support system, it is crucial that we are able to identify where their help stops and when professional expertise is required. It is important to realize that using your family or friends as therapists can distort your relationship with them. This is mainly because they are not trained to reconcile their ‘pre-therapy’ and ‘post-therapy’ perception of you.
Training ensures that therapists:
- Recognize their biases and work through them without allowing them to cloud their judgment.
- Do not trivialize problems, invalidating a person’s feeling or need.
- Address difficult emotional issues and challenge self-defeating beliefs and behaviors while remaining empathetic.
- Understand nuances from body language, facial expression and tone of voice.
- Respect confidentiality as they are bound by ethics not to divulge information shared in a consulting room without permission.
This New Year, resolve to talk through your anxieties and your fears with someone who is trained to listen. Most other relationships are not engineered for this!
Have a ‘healthful’ New Year.