MY WHAT-IFs.

It could have been any other weekday in Lagos, with scores of men, women and children returning home from another day at work and school. Unfortunately, this particular Thursday the Tanker exploded and the inferno destroyed over 54 vehicles. As I watched the video clips of the raging fire, my stomach knotted into a tight ball and I thought to myself “People are being roasted simply because they were driving behind a tanker…”

As I struggled with the images of the speed of that fire, the thick black clouds of smoke and the people unable to escape the scene, I knew I had to take proactive steps to prevent anxiety from taking root in my heart; otherwise I would become uneasy each time I came near a tanker.  My very active mind might even take it a step further and decide to become tense  each time trucks carrying  ‘Containers’ are in the vicinity. I could begin to wonder how securely fastened the Containers are and ‘what- if’ they fall off and land on my vehicle. Because I know the dire consequences of anxiety, I made a conscious decision to control my anxiety… my ‘what-ifs.’

Anxiety is what one feels when they are worried, tense or afraid of things that ‘may’ happen in the future. It is the mind and the body working together to keep the individual safe. In other words, it is an attempt to stay safe…. a survival tactic. Anxiety is a perfectly normal response to uncertainty and danger. It is legitimate to feel anxious before an examination, before making a speech or while waiting for medical results. But it becomes dangerous when one begins to plan for every conceivable outcome. Dangerous anxiety is fringed with ‘what –if’ questions.

One begins to foresee big problems in small challenges, anticipating worst-case scenarios; for instance a mistake at work means that you’ll get fired, the Nigeria economy is not great, so it means we will be sold to China and every headache is indicative of a brain tumour. In this environment where there are very few predictables, anxiety can very easily become chronic.  It can become the default thought response to most situations.

Below are steps that have worked for me in overcoming anxiety:

• I have accepted that I cannot control everything and I have begun to identify what I can and cannot control.
• I have learnt to differentiate between problem-solving and anxiety…understanding that problem-solving involves evaluating a situation, coming up with a plan to deal with it and taking steps to put the plan into action.

• I have begun to challenge my thought process by asking questions that are the opposite of my negative thought patterns. I replaced these with questions like “…What if I make it? What if Nigeria begins to become better or becomes a world power?”

• I have started to incorporate exercise into my lifestyle regime because regular exercise helps to keep anxious feelings at bay.
• I have learnt to eat right.

Over and above all these, I have allocated a ‘worry time / worry corner’ to myself. This is my opportunity  to voice out all my  ‘what-ifs’ and prayerfully place them in the hands of the One who has  the power to control everything.I visited my ‘worry corner’ a few days ago and I left my ‘what- if’ thoughts about Tankers and ‘Container’ bearing trucks there …in the hands of the One that has all the control. I am fully persuaded that things that I cannot control are simply stressors.
…And the body keeps the score!!