TRAUMA BONDING

Trauma bonding occurs when one develops a deep emotional connection with an abusive partner, parent, or friend. This bond usually arises because the abusive person vacillates between abrasive negative treatment to kind positive treatment. This pattern of behaviour leads to a strong psychological attachment, which may result in the recipient developing very low self-esteem and may ultimately lead to mental health challenges, including depression.

To be able to break this bond, the signs must be identified by the victim of trauma bonding. Some of the signs that one may be in such a  relationship are highlighted below:

Trauma-bonded relationships are as follows:

1. Making Excuses for Poor Treatment: Most victims of trauma bonding find themselves effusively making excuses to justify the bad treatment they have received from their abuser. They are willing to take huge proportions of the blame in most situations to convince themselves that the abuser is correct. Excuses such as “ I shouldn’t have answered back’ or ‘ I should have known better’ are rampant in their thoughts and conversations. The imbalance in the treatment they receive makes the bond much tighter.
2. Over-compensating the Abuser: Trauma bonding may compel the abused to offer exorbitant help to the abuser especially when they have been poorly treated. A strong desire to win their attention may overwhelm them and they begin to do things that are the equivalent of buying back attention and affection such as buying gifts, expensive date nights etc.
3. Concealing Real Feelings or Opinions: The inability to openly express oneself around the abuser could indicate trauma bonding. This may involve suppression of thoughts, emotions, opinions or even the adoption of the abuser’s views to avoid conflict or trigger their anger.
4. Anxiety and Fear of Terminating the Relationship: Despite consistent poor treatment and broken trust, mixed emotions, financial concerns and fear of starting over may overwhelm the abused person’s better judgment. Ambivalence about continuing or ending the relationship may be an indication of a trauma bond.